NEWS: All Video Stores To Close

[Marty73]

ILLEGAL! All Video Stores To Close

In a dramatic move late last night the government announced its intent to revoke all video store licenses across the country and make them ILLEGAL by January 2006.

The legislation is to be pushed through Parliament by the Monopoly committee in conjunction with the Treasury, who have been attempting to impose this reform for the past year. In keeping with the Government’s announcement yesterday that they intend to stop ATM machines charging people for collecting their own cash, they also want to ban the video shop ‘late fee’ which the Monopoly committee have branded as: “an impingement on the publics’ civil liberties and a general nuisance.” With the country already paying in excess of £140m a year to banks and building societies to access their own money, the announcement of a TOTAL ban on ‘late fees’ and the closure of ALL video stores has come as a welcomed relief to punters across the country.

It’s an almost unprecedented move, the hassle of visiting the video store, with its problem parking, lack of choice and frustrating late fee will be finished for good – DVD rental will only operate over the net, with DVDs being sent directly to your door, with no late fees EVER, making the process entirely worry free and saving an estimated 80,000 hours in travelling time to and from the video store.

Even Tony Blair was able to comment on the new reform: “Like everyone else I struggle to get to your average video store, the traffic from Westminster is horrific and you can never find a place to park. Living a busy lifestyle - as we all do in today’s day and age – I too, can never find the time to return my DVD on time.” Although the full legislation won’t come into force until early next year, the government will start to impose the ban gradually across the country, with stores starting to close as early as May this year.

[Aenima]

Nice April fool Marty.

[MadDog]

if only ............

[HateLoveFilm]

My local video shop is rip off central.

£4.00 per rental per night.

Selection of about 100 movies.

[Marty73]

cr*p.. they won't last long, but obviously those who don't have online axs uses 'em, silly people.

[smokeyjo]

As the current owner of a video store(not for much longer) I thought I would remind you that human contact is important.
I have loved my job despite earning practically nothing for the last 2 years. I currently work 72 hours/week, and my last days off were Dec 25, 26th and Jan 1st , I have worked at least 10 hours a day for the last 380 days. Soon I will have a day off, cos I'll be closing.
I think film is an important means of communicating ideas and values as well as being entertaining. I love talking to people (face to face) about films, and our differing reactions to them. My shop is a forum. people meet each other here. When all the video rental shops have gone, those (still the majority) who have no access/interest in computers will not be able to rent. And another local business will be gone, like corner shops, small garages, post offices, greengrocers etc etc
for you on-line renters, getting access to free films is all that's important. you probably buy pirate copies and download also. (then moan about the same illegal immigrants who are selling them!) you probably moan about "globalisation" then shop at tesco cos it's cheapest. The costs are not just what you pay on the day.
Instead of sitting at home tapping away on your keyboards, to your cyber-geek friends, why not go and talk about films(or any other subject except football), to the nice man in the video shop - while it's still there. - Human contact is good!